Notes from an intern and aspiring Fearless fem:

 

Having just finished David Kirkpatrick's The Facebook Effect over the weekend (which I would definitely recommend anyone), I feel more excited than ever at the thought of new ideas, jobs, startups and endless possibilities that come alongside the disruptive, tradition-challenging digital revolution. As so beautifully stated in Facebook's recent film, The Social Network, "inventing a job is better than getting one," and what better time than now in the new Renaissance of the Silicon Valley?

Working for Fearless, I constantly see new opportunities in these emerging industries. Mobile apps, social media, blogging, online advertising, and on and on and on! Yet something stood out to me when I finally returned from my reading trance this weekend - there are a million and one opportunities, but where are all the women?

I hadn't before thought twice about this phenomenon. In fact, I loved The Social Network the first time I saw it. But just pre second viewing over the weekend, my friend made a small but disturbing comment - "Oh my god, women were represented terribly in this movie." What on earth are you talking about? I've seen this movie before and found no fault with it! And this is 2011 - by now we have to have reached a level of politically correct portrayals of women. But throughout the movie, I couldn't help but notice this time how little credit any girl was given for having half a brain.

Now before I go any further, I want to make a small disclaimer: I am not a self-proclaimed feminist, nor do I think The Social Network needs to be deprived its Academy Award, but I am concerning myself with this subject because I must look at it through a lens where my own future and career goals are affected. In the field of Media Studies, we call the process of identifying with characters interpellation. But between all the players I admire as thought-leaders in revolutionary technologies - Steve Jobs (Apple), Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook), Eric Schmidt (Google), Biz Sone (Twitter), Bill Gates (Microsoft), etc., etc. - where is awoman I can relate to?

According to this article in the New York Times, while women own 40 percent of the private businesses in the U.S., they create only 8 percent of the venture-backed tech startups. By now we've come a long way from the domestic expectations of the 50's in almost all industries, so why in such nascent industries where the playing field is theoretically level are we back on the sidelines? And I don't want to hear the excuse that boys are more "into" video games and computer programming. Women thrive in the Web 2.0 world - we're inherently social, creative creatures, and what better sandboxes to play in than in new media, social media, and all other interactive Web 2.0 communications?

Sheryl Sandberg is one influential woman highlighted in the book who currently serves as Facebook's COO, and in the TED Talk embedded below she makes a lot of thoughtful points of her own attempting to explain the lack of women in leadership positions today. I think it is dangerous to stand by complacent in leaving women out of the big decisions in the new and exponentially growing tech industries. There are too few women leaders for us to look up to and use to imagine our own careers in tech, so we had better start stepping up to the plate so our children will eventually have some role models. It's time for a Silicon Valley takeover and for a little more estrogen on the interwebs.

Join me tomorrow in a Twitter chat dedicated specifically to WHY WOMEN ROCK! Follow the convo by using the hashtag #WomenRock, and share with us why you think women belong in the top leadership positions. Tell your friends and followers to join the #WomenRock convo, too, and maybe we can finally generate some buzz around this issue. Then, September 21 join us in the Silicon Valley to extend the conversation at our WomenRock conference.

 

Kim Bielak is a third year student at UC Berkeley pursuing a degree in Media Studies. She is our current Marketing and PR intern, and enjoys bringing you this very newsletter every week! Email Kim at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or follow her on Twitter via @kimbielak.

Let me guess: you don’t love what you do.  

But...you don’t know what else to do.  

You keep meaning to figure out the next step – graduate school, a new job or start your own business.  But you have no idea how to get to that answer.  

I've been there and I’m going to share with you what I wish someone had told me when I was struggling to Escape Cubicle Land. 

As a board member of a foundation trying to be creative in our funding, I found myself arguing for targeting our efforts while also learning to live with ambiguity. I’m confident that we will find the right medium if we remain true to our mission and tolerant of our own process. As a budding businesswoman trying to turn an idea into action, does that advice still apply?

But of course.

Yet I struggle to follow my advice, losing patience and wanting certainty in a sea of uncertainty. I have to remind myself that I dove into a new business venture because of a general interest in the space where spiritual inquiry meets physical pleasure.

I want to solve a problem: when considering retreat options people too often have to choose between an ascetic monk’s cell or a spa vacation. How can they find the path toward personal transformation if they start from a place of being divided instead of one of their natural state of wholeness?

The specifics of how that will translate into a business will come in their own time. And if fact, they are coming along just fine through an iterative process that will demand patience of my sometimes-impatient soul.

Then I found this posting, the Power of Uncertainty, which put it all into perspective. Living with uncertainly, embracing the ambiguity is exactly what is needed to successfully translate an idea into action. That initial idea needs to strike a balance between being so broad as to be meaningless and being so narrow as to rule out exploration that you have already determined both the path and the outcome. Balance in all things is one of my motto, which also is captured in my retreat model and so this piece struck a chord.

So what is next?

• Expecting nothing
• Practicing acceptance
• Exploring Possibilities

And where does that leave me?

Admittedly in a discomfort zone. But I am confident that it is the right place to be, where the magic of true discovery will transport me and my idea to another place called “success.”

The first time I ate a fava bean, I was 12 years old.  

As my mom served the fava beans to my 100% Sicilian father and I, she said matter-of-factly, “Some Mediterraneans are so allergic to fava beans that it kills them.  I hope you two don’t have that condition.”  

My dad and I weren’t the types to leave food on our plates, so death be damned, we ate the fava beans.  We obviously survived, but it was so disturbing that I’ve never been able to look at a fava bean without thinking about my brush with death.  

My mom was a nurse and knew that favism, an extremely rare condition, didn’t cause sudden death, but illness that could lead to death if untreated.  Did she tell us that? No, she made it seem like we were playing vegetable russian roulette.  

So what’s the lesson?  Along your entrepreneurial path, there will be plenty of fatalists out there.  People who warn you of the worst case scenario - their cousin who who spent the last 2 years struggling, working 1000 hours a week, and who lost everything.  

So what can you do? How do you shake something like that off?

What I suggest is that you listen for nuggest of wisdom and know that there is more to the story than meets the eye. There always is. 

And keep eating your fava beans. 

Success for many women isn’t a set formula, but rather an artistic creation that evolves from passion.   Marilyn Jaeger’s passion for beauty transformed not only her own life, but also the lives of others around her.  Marilyn is a renowned community supporter and esthetician that had been written up by Bazaar, Lucky, Allure, and San Francisco magazines, all claiming her Brazilians to be the best.

Marilyn’s spa is intoxicating and voluptuous, just like the female body.  Exotic paintings decorate the waiting room and curved, pomegranate colored walls mark the entrance to the treatment rooms.  Marilyn wanted the walls provide an energy flow and  ‘swoop’ you in as you entered.  I was swooped up into a decadent paradise feeling instantly sensual.  Marilyn led me to the back where we passed hand-painted doors and Alice in Wonderland styled bathrooms before settling down into a lush room with persimmons. “I wanted the room to feel succulent,” Marilyn said.

Nestled in the juicy walls Marilyn I talked about her life.  She told me that she grew up in the rough and tumble part of Huntington Beach, ‘far from the elite side.’  Marilyn was candid about her childhood.  “It was rough. I was adopted as a baby and then raised by a single alcoholic mother.”  Marilyn’s mother would often disappear for four to five days at a time leaving eight year old Marilyn alone to fend for herself and her brother. “I was the parent and my mother was the child,” Marilyn said.

In the rare times when Marilyn’s mother was home, the household was violent and abusive. “My teenage years were survival years,” Marilyn said.  “When you are in that mode you just learn to take one day at a time.”  To support herself, Marilyn started working at a very early age, her first “real” job at age 12 where she was a dishwasher for Straw Hat Pizza.

In between various odd jobs and school classes, Marilyn daydreamt.  “I believed in more beautiful things for myself.” Marilyn knew that beauty existed; she just needed to find it.

“I was 15 when I took a job as a cake decorator and then started my own catering company with a friend where we catered weddings. I finally got to see beautiful people together that loved each other!  And I witnessed beautiful weddings.”  Finally Marilyn was able to catch a glimpse of a different life.

After high school Marilyn lived in LA striving for success. She worked as Mickey Rourke’s assistant, opened multiple cafes and created her own cake shop called Crimson Cakes. At Crimson she designed intricate cakes for Hollywood’s elite. Through her connections she was able to effortlessly glide from fancy parties to crazy raves. “I was a chameleon….I didn’t always have the money to start endeavors but I was able to meet the right people that believed enough in me and my integrity to put up the money.”

It was by meeting people where Marilyn was inspired to turn to the spa industry.  One of Marilyn’s cafes was located next to a celebrity salon where all the Victoria’s Secret models would go for their waxing.  They would sit in her café to have a cappuccino and talk about their beauty treatments.  Marilyn was overwhelmed with the women’s love of their spa.  “They felt the spa was a refuge from stress, a place to go and be loved and be beautiful,” said Marilyn.  Marilyn decided that she wanted to offer that same energy to people and later enrolled in esthetician school. “The art of tweezers is like the art of a pastry bag.” Marilyn smiled.  “With baking there is the chemistry of the eggs and the flour being mixed.  I wanted to apply a different chemistry to the molecular structure of the skin, and have people feel beautiful.”

After one year of graduating from beauty school Marilyn had her own busy spa that was promptly written up by Harper’s as the “Best Brow and Brazilian in the Bay area.” Marilyn now has two spas, 23 employees, 15,000 clients and her own product line.  “I am passionate about pampering people!” she said. However, Marilyn’s success didn’t magically appear.

“I worked 18 hours a day and never said no to a client.”  Marilyn shook her head and looked at me earnestly. “Be sure you tell other entrepreneurs how hard it is.  In the beginning I had to miss friends’ weddings and birthdays to help my clients.  I really needed to cater to them.  New entrepreneurs need to keep their eye on the prize and never stop believing!”

One thing Marilyn fundamentally believes is love.  Her generosity to humankind may stem out of her difficult childhood.  She told me, “People go one of two directions if they were abused.  They can either turn into an abuser or an over the top healer to try to put as much love in the world as possible.”  Marilyn smiled warmly, demonstrating the path she had chosen.  Marilyn gives to the world, and in return, it blesses her.  “My work is very healing,” she said. “I work hard but I also get 50 hugs a day! I make my clients feel good and they make me feel great!” Marilyn also works with local charities to give disadvantaged youth inspiration for their lives. “I got the message that the world is hard at age two.  But if you can find unconditional love, it makes it ok.”

Clients confide in her, friends rely on her, and her partner David is devoted to her.  Marilyn didn’t meet David until her early 40’s but described him as man worth waiting for. “Our first encounter was like metal to magnet!” she said.  She told me that she has a solid relationship with unparallel depth that gets better and better each day.

 

“I am so grateful for love!  When you grow up feeling you do not deserve it, and then you turn the corner and believe in it, and then finally someone gives it to you it is an amazing feeling!”

I asked Marilyn what was next for her.  “More locations and more products,” she said.  “I’d also like to open a school.  And of course, write a book!”

If you cannot wait until her book comes out please come hear Marilyn speak at the Fearless Entrepreneur Event, “How She Did It” this Thursday at 6:30 pm at the Soma Hub.

For those wanting to be pampered, schedule a treatment at her spa.  I assure that you will be amply taken care of!

Here are some things to know about Iceland. It's the home to artist/singer Bjork, arguably one of their most popularizing export. The country claims a 99% literacy rate. Travelers to Iceland should anticipate 5 hours of daylight in the winter and up to 21 hours of daylight from May to August. But most impressive, Iceland gets the distinction of having elected the first female head of state and woman president.

Her name was Vigdís Finnbogadóttir.

I've never studied or heard Icelandic but I'm confident the name translates into fearless woman.

In a TED Talk, Halla Tomasdottir, an Icelandic entrepreneur describes that when Vigdis announced her candidacy, she faced scrutiny and doubt from her opponents. She was a divorced single mother and breast cancer survivor.  "How could she be president," alluded one male contender, "She's a woman and half a woman at that."

Her response? "I'm not going to breastfeed Iceland- I'm going to lead it."

And sure enough, in 1980, Vigdis was democratically elected as Iceland's first female president and served four consecutive terms.

In a discussion given at Harvard's Kennedy School of Government in '98, Vigdis offered this: "We are a reality, we ladies who have reached the heights. We want people around the world to know that it has been done."

Becoming fearless is realizing that it always seems impossible- until it gets done. Trailblazers like Vigdís Finnbogadóttir and Halla Tomasdottir remind us that as women, we bring so much to the table. It's not only a disservice to ourselves- it's a disservice to the world when we don't follow our hearts and dreams with true fearlessness.

Here's to breaking new ground and going even farther than we thought capable.

“You must meet CJ!” was the mandate from the Fearless Women Entrepreneur Network.  Carolyn Johnson (CJ) had just started teaching business classes with the organization and was a self-made entrepreneur that had a reputation for inspiring others.  I never turn down the opportunity to chat with amazing women and hastily made plans to ring her.

Upon answering the phone, CJ’s voice ran merrily into my ear like a jinglebell during the holidays.  “It’s a pleasure to speak with you!”  Not even my own mother was that enthusiastic to talk to me.

CJ eagerly described herself as a girl from East Oakland that likes to camp. “No one can beat a s’more!  I also like to bowl…but I am terrible” she laughed.

CJ isn’t just a campfire and bowling connoisseur.  She also has a MBA from Columbia, her own business consultancy, a beautiful 13 year old daughter, and is about to embark upon a Ph.D program in Education Leadership. “My daughter has molded my life,” she said.  Not only does she strive to put her first, but CJ also strives to set a positive example and drive change for a better world.

Genetic Motivation

Being a positive role model is engrained in the DNA of the Johnson family.  CJ told me that she was born into a strong family and raised happily in east Oakland.  Happily in East Oakland?  CJ laughed at me, “Oh I didn’t realize I lived in a poor neighborhood until I saw a list of Urban Ghetto's in a college class.. and Oakland was on the list.”

CJ’s childhood was anything but what one would expect in the "ghetto".  She came from a big family that taught love and joy.  Her mother was a nurse and missionary and her father a minister and social worker. They would often have people in need over for dinner and occasionally invited them to stay for a while in their attic. “Our motto was to just open the door and help.”

Although CJ’s parents never received a university education they never let on.  “My parents would sit and the table and pretend to read intellectual books, because they wanted to set a good example.”  CJ’s parents told her that college was her destiny. “I didn’t even know it was optional until I was in 10th grade-I just thought that was what everyone did after high school.”

I asked CJ what, besides her parents encouraged her to get a bachelors, a masters, and now a Ph.D.

“School wasn’t always easy, but it was easier than the other choices in East Oakland.”  CJ told me that she looked at the African American statistics and saw how many ended up in minimum wage jobs or even worse, jail. “I thought a college degree was a better option for me.”  In CJ’s High School class of 250, she was one of eight who was accepted into college.

Following Passion

After a joint degree in psychology and business, CJ pursued her MBA at Columbia. She then worked as a health care senior executive and  co- founded an investment banking boutique. Not many girls from east Oakland end up in the fast paced world of finance!  However, she knew her career as a banker was limited.  “It was interesting but I wasn’t passionate about it.  The hours didn’t allow me to spend enough time with my daughter.  Plus I needed to go back to my roots of helping others.” CJ had a strong desire to give back and create her own business.

“In my family, being an employee was considered being lazy,” CJ told me.  She said a lot of her entrepreneurial spirit came from her Grandmother who came to the U.S. from the Caribbean at age nine.  “Oh she was a hustler,” CJ said warmly. “She owned a hotel, a restaurant, and a bar in the small town of Tracy, California.” Channeling her grandmother’s ‘can-do’ attitude, CJ set up a business consultancy to help small businesses create actionable business plans, secure loans, and reach and exceed the break-even level.  With her company CJ had found the perfect blend of a flexible schedule, entrepreneurship and altruism.

“You have to love what you do—your job shouldn’t be drudgery!  Plus, I’m a glass half full type of person,” CJ said, “I just cannot be unhappy!”

Education is a Social Justice Tool

However, CJ isn’t stopping at business consulting.  She has decided to pursue a PhD in education leadership so drive further change in the world. I asked her why she felt a need to impact the US education system.

“Education is a social justice tool,” she said. CJ told me that her degrees opened up doors for her and people were blind to her color and gender.  For CJ, education was a way to have an equal chance in the world.

“It saved my life and I’d like others to be able to have the same benefit.”

Plus, CJ saw a lot of opportunity in education policy.  “Right now there is a lot of waste and mismanagement. Some districts cut classes but still put money into things like new furniture.”

In addition to inspiring others to succeed, CJ wants to ensure we have a robust system that supports them.  CJ aims to open up as many doors as possible.

“Our jobs shouldn’t be about us and our ego, they should be about helping other people.” I asked CJ how she came to that conclusion. “It was just how I was raised,” she said simply.

If you are interested in business advice or coaching with CJ please check out her website!

“Life's most urgent question is: What are you doing for others?”

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

I'll be the first to say it. I was a peculiar child growing up.

I was obsessive about office supplies, I cried when Full House went off the airwaves, and my absolute favorite color was shocking hot pink. That was the exact name by the Crayola company: shocking hot pink.

Not impressed? It doesn't end there.

For reasons only an experienced psychotherapist could explain, I constructed this fictitious image of perfection. As one example, I remember having a designated area in my dresser that was strictly reserved for my finest material possessions. Enclosed in this drawer were my Hello Kitty wallet, non-toxic nail polish that gave streaky coverage, leftover Halloween candy (8 months post Halloween day), and my most treasured outfit: a matching white t-shirt and shorts ensemble with hot pink hearts and white ribbon. It was like my favorite worlds colliding together in a fabulously coordinated outfit.

The kicker is that as much as I loved this outfit, at a certain point, I only allowed myself to wear it on specific days.

It started off as Wednesdays (logic being that Wednesdays were the mid-point of every week and thus, the most perfect day, as it was perfectly in the middle). And then it evolved into special occasions (think field day, Valentine's day, birthday).

But the story gets worse, humiliatingly enough. Eventually, I came to a point where I determined that June 30th was the most perfect day of the year and thus, the only suitable and deserving day to wear such a stunning outfit. My math may have been off but given that I had a thing about perfect middles (I wasn't a middle child, go figure), you get the point.

All this to say that as ridiculous as this pattern of behavior was, I can see how parts of this carried into my adulthood.

At the beginning of one of my business classes, the instructor gave us handouts that read that there was no such thing as a "perfect" assignment. She laid out expectations that assignments were to be submitted in a timely manner, regardless of whether it was "perfect" or not. Just get it done.

This, coupled with my struggles around life/work balance, triggered reflection around my work production.

Call it procrastination. Call it perfectionism. It may be both. But it is helpful to have context as to where it comes from.

There are so many times in my life where I've waited for the most perfect conditions. The perfect breakthroughs, the perfect family, the perfect body, the perfect job opportunity, the perfect bank account, the perfect kind of love- all of it.

But in the midst of waiting, what I've come to realize is that life is happening all around you. And if you're not doing anything but waiting, it just might pass you by.

The real lessons and breakthroughs, I've learned, are the in-between moments of failure and success. Life is the living that takes place between the high moments and low moments.

Successful entrepreneurs are those who can push past the self-doubt, overcome the perfectionism, and master the discipline of just getting it done.

Here's to growth, looking foolish, learning from foolish behavior, and making things happen.

Have you ever wondered how much of your formal college education would carry over into the “real world?” I found myself thinking about a book I read for a philosophy class, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. On the surface it was a story of a man and his son on a cross-country journey. Digging a little deeper, it was a way for a thinker to play with an idea, to explore “quality” or “value” as a way to understand reality.

The story told represents an “East meets West” way of thinking that helps the reader to question his assumptions about the way things work and how decisions are made. Although I was quite taken study of philosophy (managing to take as many courses I did for my major), I don’t think I fully appreciated the story at the time.

That was then and this is now. Now that I find myself on my own entrepreneurial journey, I find myself thinking about the story for insights into practicing the art of entrepreneurship. What are the assumptions underlying my approach? How might understanding those assumptions help me make the hard decisions needed to turn a good idea into a thriving enterprise? So my inquiry might simply be titled “Zen and the Art of Entrepreneurship: what do “quality” or “value” look like in the entrepreneurial sphere?”

Looking for guidance, I found it. Since my “big idea” centers on the ritual of food and wine and how it builds community, I need to model a reverence for ritual. I found this short and sweet list of nine rituals of mindfulness to make your day better.

For me, they also fit the bill for rituals that will help me manage the day-to-day trials and tribulations of embarking on an entrepreneurial journey. However, to round out this list, I would add a tenths ritual: honor the “small stuff." The baby steps that indicate progress do matter.

We tend to gloss over the little things because we are so focused on the “big wins” – securing the investor, contract. etc. Alas, we end up doing a disservice to progress made and can do serious damage to our spirit. It is amazing how as shift to honoring the small stuff - nice chat, a “aha” moment, a new connection with an interesting person, etc. - can provide such sustenance. This might take the form of taking 2 minutes at the end of the day to express out loud gratitude for 2-3 of those little things – you know, the minor victories that seem not to matter but perhaps matter the most.

My new ten-step ritual of mindfulness embraces the inherent value of the process itself. It is a way to live in the present. It is a way to enjoy the journey, which I intend to. Tapping into that joy will provide the fuel I need for the rest of my journey.

"Few of us ever live in the present. We are forever anticipating what is to come or remembering what has gone." — Louis L'Amour

There are those who look for love in all the wrong places. And then there are those who look for love in all the exotic places.

Such was the story of one woman who found her way into the Fearless Women Entrepreneur Network program. Her love for international travel and meeting new people sparked an entrepreneurial concept she’s hoping to develop over the course of the 8-week business program.

“I like to date international men and I’ve always loved to travel. And as a single gal, I’ve tried it all. The online dating websites, matchmaking services, coaches- everything. And there just wasn’t anything out there for me, “ she explained.

“So,” she began to smile, “I’m going to create one myself.”

Already, you might sense that this is not the typical girl-meets-boy type of story. In this scenario, the storyline goes more like girl takes on France, England, Morocco, South Africa and proceeds to have romances with individuals from Iran, Russia, India, Egypt, Italy, Bolivia, and other far stretches of the globe.

 

 

Not necessarily the worst way to learn about another culture, you might think to yourself.

And this is how many businesses get their start. It begins with a story, a hope, a wish.

There are some things every entrepreneur should possess: discipline, ambition, industry expertise. Most importantly, though, you've got to have the passion.

Passion alone, of course, won't get you through the rough times. According to SCORE, about half of all new small businesses fail within the first 5 years. And there's a host of other sobering statistics about the risks of starting a business. But some of the greatest roadblocks to starting out are not necessarily financially-related; it’s more inwardly constructed, actually. It’s the self-doubt, the fear of leaping into the unknown, moving away from a steady paycheck that intimidates many first time business owners.

Yet, if you've read my previous post, we know that it takes a certain kind of people to dive into this uncertainty head on. Some people call them visionaries, some people call them innovative thinkers, and others might just call them plain crazy.

But the adage that says "do what you love and the money will follow" is hard to shake off. It certainly was for this one individual.

Time will tell whether this specific endeavor will bloom into full fruition but the fact that this individual has the passion and willingness to work hard on a business plan (which statistically increases the long-term survival of a small business) with the Fearless Women Entrepreneur Network Program are all good signs.

Love first, and the rest will follow.